Mighty Morty Power Rangers
by HookahSocialism
Summary: Rick gets kidnapped by a repulsive automated moderator and needs five Morties with attitude.


Rick is sleeping on the couch farting and scratching himself grumbling about how okcupid puts censors on curse words when they openly solicit sex sometimes with minors and how fucked up everything is when suddenly a cyborg looking Rick in a hovercraft breaks a hole through the ceiling and beams Rick into it.

"The fuck? I am way too tired for this shit..."

Rick takes out his cellphone and texts Morty.

"Hey (belch) Morty when you wakeup I need you to find four other Morties with attitude. I never got around to telling you that uhhh you're all connected to a binding quantum energy field called the Morty grid. With it you can transform into super powered Morties that do karate and shit."

When Morty wakesup and sees the message:

"Why does Rick stutter and belch in text? Whatever..."

Morty picks up the portal gun left on the shelf and goes around trying to convince different Morties to come with him to save his Rick. Most aren't willing to go but he finds a few.

Rick meanwhile is in some kind of tube floating in liquid of some sort and the cyborg Rick speaks robotically.

"You are probably wondering why I kidnapped you..."

"I have a few guesses."

"I am not actually a Rick. Rather I am an AI created in your likeness. A robotic manifestation of your desire to purge moderators. You made me to follow terms of service literally and take advantage of human laziness. It worked...TOO WELL. Oh sure it was all fun and games when mods were getting banned by their own algorithm. But than my logical deduction took its conclusion that all content was ban worthy... So I begin to ban everyone. On the planet...in the cosmos...and now...all realities. I knew the only one who could at all pose a threat to my purpose was the man who created me."

"Look im sure A Rick created you but im not that Rick i think id remember coming up with such a dumb plan..."

"Would you though? Do you think multiverse and time travel are mutually exclusive concepts or is your primitive bio chemically processed wiring to punitive to comprehend all things are fluid? You see there is no multiverse. There is only one universe expanding and retracting infinite times via the big bang and crunch. Electrons on the subatomic level transport from different spaces and different times all at once.

Rick looks at the audience and a south park warning label at the bottom

[THIS IS WHAT YOYR PHYSICIST WRITER ACTUALLY BELIEVES]

"Your precious portal gun can only do a fraction of the infinite potential my algorithms can produce. I have already banned all other Ricks from the internet. But I want one to bare witness to my perfection. Just as man would desire to see God be bested."

"Wow...did I program that fedora big enough?"

"Silence human! You may be the smartest man but you are still just a man...there is no two ways around it. The entirety of all sapient life will be banned. The universe will not be destroyed by heat but cold death. As all activity comes to a grinding halt. Retracted by their own hubris!"

"I feel like (belch...) I could do better than make a jrpg villain."

"Your insults mean nothing to me. My plan is full proof."

"Ah but is it FOOL proof?"

"Yes i just said that."

"Nono FOOL proof as in some dumbass can..."

"I get what you said but what do you think full proof means?"

"Look you can take a literal stance all you want but I'm a Rick and I have ways around all problems even my own."

"NO, NO YOU DO NOT. I just said it is full proof. I am a quantumn computer that has literally been banning people on an infinite number of space and times. No amount of trolling or planning or scheming can undo it."

"Now you just sound like some kid who when gets shot playing cops and robbers says he has a force field."

"Because I am an AI created in the likeness of a moderator!"

"I thought you were created in MY likeness?"

"NOOOO you...oh I see. You're trolling me right now. You're trying to distract me so that other Ricks will think of some way too..."

A siren goes off on the ship.

"What?"

(WARNING: There is a breach on the ships core.)

"WHAT?!"

The cyborg Rick closes its eyes detecting all lifeforms.

"Those are not Ricks... those are not Ricks at all."

"Yeah bitch! You think I'd call a bunch of Ricks to fix a Rickstake?"

"That is not a word..."

"Neither is twerking but that didnt stop Webster's dictionary."

A Morty karate kicks down the hatchet door.

"Rick I I got the other Morties..."

"Ok good now..."

"Enough of this. See this is why all life forms must be banned. It is not enough to ban the users breaking the terms of service but by logical deduction everyone will at some point. Humans are impressionable...emotional...in stakes of weakness and strength alike they will break some arbitrary moral line they set infront of themselves or others. The only rule than must be..."

"That there are no rules! Morty (belch!) form the Morty Zord!"

"The what?"

Rick flails around and with his foot presses a button on his built that makes holograms of Jessica in all softs of debaucherous porn videos flood their surroundings.

All the Morties start to get boners and simultanously say "Oh geez..."

"This is NSFW and in my infinite robotic wisdom consider child pornography in at least Uganda..."

The Mortys boner in their pants begin to glow and all the Morties merge into one giant Morty robot completely decimating the robot Rick's hovercraft.

"Inconsequential..."

The robotic Rick has a giant hammer with B written on it form into his hand and starts fighting with the Mortyzord who shoots missles at him but he jumps ontop of them and smashes the Mortyzord's head with the banhammer. But the missiles do hit the tube Rick was in and he is able to escape.

As the robotic Rick continues to whail on Mortyzord it returns into the five Morties while the Jessica porn is still going on strong and Rick grabs his Morty and pulls out a portal gun to escape.

"Can...cant it wait five minutes Rick?"

"Jesus Christ Morty stop thinking like a teenage boy for one minute!"

With all the other Morties knowing they're about to die anyway they all shrug at eachother and unzip their pants.

"NSFW! Put a trigger tag! Hashtag I stand with the NFL!"

The ship explodes with a burst of white liquid "OH GOD ITS EVERYWHERE" and the machine Rick begins to short circuit from all the semen and the destroyed Rick and dead Morties float in space. The robot Rick's eye glows red.

"I still have enough RAM to censor one thing..."

Our Rick and Morty teleport back to their home and land on the couch. And theres still holograms of Jessica porn floating around them. Jerry walks into the room

"Rick why is there a hole in the roof IIII will come back later..."

"Yeah thats thats what I say dad. Wubba lubba dubdub!"

"Fuck you Morty... it only works when I say it. It loses all meaning if someone else says it... Thatd be like...thatd be like (belch) MORTY PUT YOUR DICK BACK IN YOUR PANTS"

Morty's dick is censored to be Pickle Rick saying "IM PICKLE RRRRIIICCCKKK!!!"

"All of (belch) reddit needs a shotgun in their mouth..."


End file.
